Ross: Why... why... why would you dream that?
Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?
Rachel: Well, you were pretty damned good.
Chandler: Interesting, because in my dreams, I'm surprisingly
inadequate.
Rachel: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the
table.
Ross: I love it when we share.
Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one time thing. I was very drunk
and it was somebody else's subconscious.
Phoebe: Can you see me operating a drill press?
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?
Ross: Phebes, why would you want to operate a drill press?
Phoebe: Just for some short-term work. You know, until I get back
some of my massage clients.
Chandler: Pirates again?
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just such a dummie. I taught
this "massage-yourself-at-home workshop," and they are.
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick,
they're still extinct!"
Chandler: They do me?
Phoebe: You know, like... uh, okay: "Could that report be
any later?"
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Joey: Yeah, you do.
Ross: "The hills were alive with the sound of music.
Joey: My scones!
Phoebe, Ross, & Joey: "My scones!"
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not
true. That is so not... That is so not... Oh, shut up!
Ethan: Uh, before we get into any staying-over stuff, there is
something you should know.
Monica: Okay, is this like, "I have an early class tomorrow," or,
"I'm secretly married to a goat?"
Ross: Are you not seeing him anymore?
Monica: No. You know, sometimes just... things doesn't work out.
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs
a note to get out of gym.
Phoebe: Oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people.
Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.
Phoebe: No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know,
them-not-liking-you extravaganza!
Rachel: Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in
the bathroom?
Ross: I thought that was just a rumour.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers: I'm gonna
need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
Santos: Sure.
Gerston: No problem.
Chandler (to Phoebe): You have to give 'em something, you know.
Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos... and who's the guy with the
moustache?
Phoebe: Petrie.
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, somebody's gonna be
working... this weekend.
Monica: Oh, I love my life, I love my life!
Rachel: The meeting with the guy went great?
Monica: So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be.
It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not
too small. Just right.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to
do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Phoebe: Oh god! Just DO it! Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!
Chandler: And that, is the real San Francisco treat!
Joey: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows
are actually on his hat?
Chandler: You think that's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain
of a cereal for the last 40 years.
Phoebe: Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It could
say "Ross Geller, Good at Marriage!" Y'know? Mine's gonna say "Phoebe
Buffay, Buried Alive.
ROSS: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of
the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog
flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he
loses like a week and a half.
Ross: You what? Wh- what were you doing seeing her boobies?
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the
street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
CHANDLER: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in
turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get
out of my chair, dillhole!"
JOEY: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts
to leave)
Joey to Chandler: Okay, man, I didn't want to bring this up, but
Chandler is the stupidest name I've ever heard in my whole life! It's not
even a name! It's barely even a word. It's kind of like chandelier...but
it's not. It's a stupid, stupid, non-name.
Chandler: "What's this?"
Joey: "Eight hundred and twelve bucks."
Chandler: "Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya, but it's an even
thousand if you want me for the whole night."
Joey (watching old videos of Monica): Some girl ate Monica!!! "
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds. "
Chandler: so how many cameras are actually on you?
Ross: Your
money's mine Green.
Rachel: Your fly's open Gellar!!
Ross: I may get to speak at this Paleontology conversion, and if I do,
I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues,
work stuff, and/or are sick.
Ross: It's in Barbados.
Chandler: But you come first!
Rachel: I'm there.
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something.
Joey: Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-a** clowns came to your birthday?
Chandler: Ok, you have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!
Joey: Oh! Sorry... did I get you?
Chandler: NO, you didn't Get me! It's an electric drill! You Get
me, you Kill me!
Phoebe: "I'm late for...uhhh...my Green Eggs and Eggs discussion
group. Tonight is why he would not eat them on a train.
Ross: Dad’s still telling the story about how you tried to escape from
fat camp….
Monica: I wasn’t trying to escape!
Ross: Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?
Monica: I was… helping out a squirrel…
Ross: You were trying to eat it!!!!
CHANDLER: What are you doing?
JOEY: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything
about the cushions.
CHANDLER: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
JOEY: That's right! I'm taking the essence.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your
convention.
Monica: Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator. Hey, Rach, can I
borrow your eyelash curler? I think I lost mine.
Joey: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Chandler: Honey hundreds of CD's, not one of them in the right case.
Monica: Well maybe we could alphabetize them??
Chandler: Or maybe we could label them, you know in files??
Rachel: Oh My God you guys have such problems, I FEEL SO BAD FOR
YOU!!!
Joey: But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Rachel: Exactly! Unisex!
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days
ago.
Rachel: No! No, Joey! U-N-I-sex.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that
Rachel: "Ya know I really thought I had hit rock bottom, but today
it's like there's rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap then me."
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made
me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know?
Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks
aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Monica:
Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor.
Chandler: I didn't nail the boxes to the floor.
Monica: Oh, so you can move them.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is: You hide my clothes, I'm wearing
everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking
somebody's underwear!
Joey: Look at me--I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more
clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando!
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my
sandwich away MY SANDWICH?!!! MY SANDWICH!!!!!!
Joey: Of course it was a line!
Monica: Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that?
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated
than, "to get you into bed."
Chandler: What? What? What is it? That she left you? That she
likes women? That she left you
for another woman that likes women?
Ross: A little louder, okay? I think there's a man on the twelfth
floor--in a COMA--who didn't
hear you.
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
Monica: He's in the bathroom... I don't think you wanna go in
there!
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates.... Aaaaaaaagh! My eyes! My eyes!
Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department: Are you
wearing makeup?
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani,
actor slash model.
Chandler: That's funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like
Joey Tribbiani, man slash
woman.
Joey: Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: By someone besides Monica?
Rachel: Thank you for my beautiful earrings, they're perfect. I
love you.
Ross: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, okay?
Rachel:: Now I love you even more.
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: I'm getting dressed.
Joanna: Why?
Chandler: When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me
Ross: So why don't you quit?
Chandler: You don't think I've tried? You think I like have 50
dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all
the way down there! Then they use all these phrases and peppiness to try
to confuse you. And then they bring out Maria.
Ross: Who is Maria?
Chandler: Ah, Maria. You can't say no to her. She's like this
lycra/spandex covered gym... treat.
Monica: [Sneeze] Oh, gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold!
Phoebe: You mean you stole it!
Monica: [Sneeze]
Phoebe: Don't cover your mouth when you do that!
Ross: So, uh, how long are you going to punish him?
Joey: Five years.
Ross: You've sentenced him?
Joey: Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
Phoebe: You guys, you really should get rid of those animals. They
shouldn't be living in an apartment.
Rachel: Yeah, especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks
around.
Phoebe: Aw, Phebes...
Rachel: Honey, that's your name.
Phoebe: That's short for Phoebe? I thought that's just what we
called each other.
Joey: It's all London, baby! Here we go.
Chandler: You got your passport?
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer in my dresser. You don't want to
lose that.
Rachel: You gotta come with me!
Phoebe: Come where?
Rachel: Wherever I go! Come on! You and me. We'll... we'll start a
new group! We're the best ones!
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey, too.
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no
divorces in '99!
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! You know what, I am gonna be
happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room? Or...
Phoebe: I'm in Vice. Yeah, in fact, I'm undercover right now. I'm
a whore.
Cop: Who... who else is in vice up there?
Phoebe: Um, do you know, um Sipowicz?
Cop: Sipowicz? No, I don't think so.
Phoebe: Yeah, Sipowicz. Yeah, um, big guy, kind of bald.
Cop: No, I don't know him.
Phoebe: Don't try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there.
He's out. His, um... his partner just died.
Cop: Wow. Well, tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss.
Phoebe: I sure will. Take care.
Cop: Hey! By the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I
heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good.
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